Mixed Messages

Quote from Cameron's Bible
"And Jesus said unto them ... , "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to younder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you."
Romans 1:17

Quote from Stella's Magical Book
"Once thou hast placed faith upon the spirits that guide this world, ye shall find all doors open to you, the impossible within reach."

Quote from Justin's Engineering Textbook
"Becoming a great engineer is about more than simply having faith in one's abilities. Rather, it is ingenuity and ambition that shall allow you to achieve the impossible and beyond."

I stacked the three books on top of my dresser before heading to bed. Everyone had sure assigned me a lot of reading to do. Though somehow, the more I read, the more the subject matter seems to overlap. Everything being the same...and yet different?

[Poetry Interlude] Cirrus

Gentle lullaby, soft and sweet
A song for you, a song for me
Light as air, fluffy as a cloud
Delicate as a feathered shroud

Covered by a white woven sheet
A silk cushion is a fine treat
Our bedtime stories read aloud
The moon is shining, bright and proud

Homework

"Hey, Lexis..."

"Yeah?"

"Why do you spend so much time with that NPC, anyway?"

"Who, Cameron?" I turned to Justin, bewildered.

"Yeah...I mean, sure, he may seem nice and all, but it's not like an NPC could ever understand a player. Only other players can understand players." Justin sighed. "There can never be true meaning in a relationship between a player and an NPC."

"Perhaps not," I mused. "But I like to think that all relationships have value, regardless."

"Alright, suit yourself...just thought I'd warn you though. Getting too close to an NPC could lead you to a world of disappointment. But I trust that you know what you're doing."

"Of course...I choose my own friends, after all."

Justin and I walked over to a nearby cafe where we discussed the week's missions over lunch. The GM assigns tasks for us weekly and we get points for successfully completing them by their deadlines. By increasing our score, the probability of the golden flag appearing before our team increases, which in turn brings us closer to winning the game. Justin and I didn't have any missions due for today, so we simply planned out the execution of future missions before splitting up and heading home. It was evening by then, so it had begun to get dark. I walked down the street, eyes downcast while carefully stepping around patches of ice.

"Hello there, how are you?" a female NPC called out to me. I looked up in confusion at the strange girl standing before me. She definitely stood out from the crowd...she wore what seemed to be a Southern-Asian style pink dress adorned with golden trimmings and embroidery. 

"Umm...hi," I replied uncertainly. "Do I know you?" At this, the girl smiled at me and giggled.

"Oh, no, you do not. Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm Lady Estelle, but you may call me Stella."

"Uhhh...nice to meet you, Stella." I gingerly took her outstretched hand and shook it, still unsure of what to make of the situation.

"You look troubled, is something the matter?"

"Well..." I hesitated as my mind wandered towards thoughts of my woes within the game. Things incomprehensible to NPC's, such as the one standing before me.

"If you have some time, come with me! I can help you solve any of your problems!"

"Umm...okay..."

Stella led me to a nearby coffee shop where she sat me down and started asking me questions about myself. I'm not quite sure what compelled me to come with her, but I'll have to admit that I was intrigued by her offer 'to help me solve any of my problems.' I answered her questions candidly, while making sure any references to the game were somewhat vague and ambiguous. At various times during our meeting, Stella pulled out various fortune-telling paraphernalia such as an astrology chart, tarot cards, and more. Her interpretations and analyses of me were quite fascinating and seemingly accurate, though I held in the back of my mind that these things were probably designed to be applicable to a wide variety of people, so I tried not to think too much of it. Afterward, Stella handed me a leather-bound book with rather unusual-looking golden glyphs embossed on its cover.

"Read chapter 7," Stella told me cheerfully. "It will aid you in your next trial. We shall meet again some time and discuss what happens." With a wink and a mischievous smile, she left the coffee shop. For a few moments, I stared down at the book she gave me. Was it just me, or was it giving off some seriously unusual vibes? Could it be a real magical book? I shook my head in disbelief.

"Ahhh...first, Cameron wants me to read the bible; next, Justin wants me to read an engineering textbook; and now this? Why does it seem as if everyone around here just wants to assign me more and more homework?"

[Poetry Interlude] Banana Split Forever

Beautiful, arced, shiny and yellow
A tastier dessert than jello
We are all in this boat together
Sailing banana split forever!

Hey, don't you look so perturbed
That some things are just better curved
With sugary syrup on top
Right at your local ice cream shop!

Two Worlds

I began making my way towards the town's Center Square, a common meeting place for team members in the game. I often meet up with Justin down one of its side streets rather than the main crossing. Since we are the only team of two among several teams of three, it is safer for us to lay low, just in case other teams get the idea that we might make an easy attack target. As with all types of "death" in the game, getting killed by other players will only incapacitate us for a day, which I suppose isn't the worst that could happen. However, it would lower our team ranking and hinder our ability to complete missions, which in turn lowers the probability of the golden flag appearing before us.

The freezing winter winds sent chills throughout my body as I trudged along the snow-covered path. There were several NPC's milling about, going about their daily business. Everyone was bundled up with their scarves and hoods, looking straight ahead and thus taking no notice of me. I often mused about what my life would be like if I, too, were an NPC. Would life be any easier? More fulfilling? Or were there, perhaps, difficulties of being an NPC as well?

"Hey, Lexis!"

A familiar voice interrupted my thoughts. A confident voice. A gentle voice. I turned around and smiled. It was Cameron, my best friend. He also happens to be an NPC, so he is unaware of the existence of the game. But although I cannot talk to him about the game, he's still a great source of support.

"Cameron! Hey, how's it going?" I raised an open palm and he clasped my hand in a firm high five/handshake.

"It's going pretty good, yourself?"

"Ah, haha...I've seen better days, but it could be worse, I guess." Images of the struggle from the previous night pervaded my mind as I replied.

"Sounds rough, but I hear you," Cameron looked concerned. "Hey, you've really been hanging in there...it sounds like you still have a long way to go, but keep it up, and I'll sure you'll make it, alright?" He paused and his eyes narrowed, giving him a serious look. "If you need me, you know where to find me."

"Thanks, Cameron." For the first time since last night, I felt a sense of calm. Words...compassion...such things, are they really so powerful, especially in a world such as this?

"Hey, I have to head off now, that okay, Lexis?"

"Uhh...yeah, of course." That guy...his polite words always take me aback. "See you, Cameron."

"Alright, take care!" With that, he turned and headed off toward the university. I had better get going too...Justin is probably wondering what's taking me so long.

"Yo."

"Ah! Justin?"

[Guest Poem] Find Me by Lioret

That fateful, final night of reckoning
Had me lost to myself, so enraptured
By my fury, that when you took my hand,
I turned away from you defiantly,
Always pretending that I didn't care.

The answer that I have always searched for
Can't be found within my own tainted shine.
I looked to you, as one I'd so cherished,
But your gaze provides no explanation.
The pain, unfathomable, consumes me.

"Sorry." Isn't that the most empty word?
For a thousand apologies cannot
Reverse the detriment of your actions,
Or mine. This hefty cross that I've shouldered
For everyone's sake, I accept humbly.

The answer that I have always searched for
Can it ever be found within myself?
Our tears fall so sorrowfully. I wish
Sincerely that you take my hand once more.
Gently guide me, to reveal my true shine.

Final Message

*beep* "You have 4 messages. Message 1..."

"Hey Justin, it's Meg, I just wanted to let you know that..."

*beep* "Message erased. Message 2..."

"Justin, this is Eric. Say, did you hear about..."

*beep* "Message erased. Message 3..."

"Justin! Oh my God, it's an emergency! We need you at..."

*beep* "Message erased. Message 4..."

"Justin...it's me, Lexis. Listen, the flag's been within sight the past few days, but I've been unable to grab hold of it. I figure the GM wants something more from us. Have you looked into those..."

*beep* "Message erased. End messages."

[Poetry Interlude] Melt My Heart

Don't hold your breath, day is breaking
Through the darkest night. Shivering
By my side, the sun's overhead
And melting the snow at our feet,
Warming this cold earth gradually.

I'm calling out to you, so please
Like the bright sunshine, melt my heart!
For only you, only you can
Penetrate these bleak, icy walls
That envelope my guarded soul.

As winter turns to spring, waiting,
Waiting for the snow to vanish,
You take my hand in yours. Is this
Feeling as ephemeral as
The most delicate spring flower?

Listen to me, hey, can you please?
Like the bright sunshine, melt my heart!
For only you, only you can
Diffuse this frigid sheet of frost
That confines my most sincere self

The Illusory Catharsis

There it was, not too far in the distance: the golden flag that I had been searching for. Sharp winds buffeted me from all sides as I stubbornly pushed forward, fiercely resolved to ignore the weight of fatigue wearing heavily upon my limbs. My goal could not have been more than 50 meters away. It was so close, I could almost feel the elation of finally capturing it. However, this feeling had been premature. The rocks beneath my feet suddenly gave away, and I before I knew it, I was falling. Falling, far down, into the darkest abyss...falling, endlessly...

I awoke in my room, seemingly only moments later. I blinked my eyes open a few times. Soft rays of sunshine streamed in through my partially open window, giving the room a pallid glow that made me feel all the more soporific as exhaustion took hold of my body. How long had I been unconscious for? I feel so very tired...

It was late afternoon when I awoke once more. I sat up in bed and decided that I would set out once again after a good meal. As I fried sausages on the stove, I retraced my steps of the previous day. The golden flag...it had been so close, and yet I could not grab hold of it. The day before had been the same way. There must be something holding me back, but what? If only death was the end...the continual striving and suffering that only ultimately ended in failure would be enough to wear out anyone. But for some reason or other, I can't die. Either that, or perhaps the game master had this written in the rules somewhere...that we, as players, are not ALLOWED to die...